School Trips: Part 1

A class went on a school trip to Rome. On the Sunday they all went to church and when they came out the teacher said, `I hope you all behaved.'
`Oh, yes, sir,' said one girl. `A kind man offered me a plate full of money but I said, "no thanks".

Our school cruise was a great success but a lot of kids had to be turned away. 
The raft only held fifteen people.

Fred had been on a camping trip for a few days.
`Did your tent leak?' asked his dad when he returned.
`Only when it rained,' said Fred.

What is a Laplander?
A clumsy girl on a school trip.

A party of schoolchildren from the city went on a trip to the country. One of them found a pile of empty milk bottles and shouted, 
`Look, miss, I've found a cow's nest!'

Where's the worst trip you're likely to go on?
To the headmaster's office.

AnFredna had been on a school trip today. `Our school bus had a puncture,' she told his mum when he returned.
`Oh dear, how did that happen?' asked his mum.
`There was a fork in the road,' Fred told her.

Fred came home from school looking a bit worried. `Today our teacher said, "We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the airfields, we shall fight on the streets"
'Ali, yes,' said his father. `Those are the words of Winston Churchill.'
`Oh,' said Fred, looking relieved. `I thought he was talking about our school trip to France.'

A teacher took her class on a nature trail through the woods. She stopped by a tree and said, `Brian, can you tell me what the outer part of a tree is called?' 
`I don't know, sir,' said Brian. 
`Bark, boy, bark!' said the teacher. 
`OK, sir,' said Brian. `Woof! Woof!'

PUPIL: Am I going on the school trip, sir? 

TEACHER: Yes, if you don't behave yourself..