Jokes for Your Students #02

Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.
So what's so great about that?
It's snowing outside!

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!

Where did all the cuts and blood come from?
The school went on a trip!

What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The food!

What kind of food do maths teachers eat?
Square meals!

The food in our school canteen is perfect.
If your a bug!

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our puppy toilet trained on it

A history joke
How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships?
With their eyes shut!

How did the boy feel after being caned?
Absolutely whacked!

What's black and white all over and difficult?
An exam paper!

A history joke
Why aren't you doing very well in history?
Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

A history joke
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!

A history joke
The Spanish explorers went round the world in a galleon.
How many galleons did they get to the mile!

A history joke
What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?

A history joke
What was King Arthur's favorite game?
Knights and crosses!

A history joke
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom!

A history joke
Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?
Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharaoh's court!

A history joke
Wish I had been born 1000 years ago! - Why is that?
Just think of all the history that I wouldn't have to learn!

A history joke
Did the Native Americans hunt bear!
Not in the winter!