Geography Punchlines

"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse ?" 
"Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down !"

Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea? 
Pupil: Dead ?, I didn't even know he was sick !

What are the small rivers that run into the Nile ? 
The juve-niles !

Teacher: Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river ? 
Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see !

Teacher: What are the Great Plains ? 
Pupil: 747, Concorde and F-16 !

Teacher: Where is the English Channel ? 
Pupil: I don't know, my TV doesn't pick it up

Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn't know where the Rockies were. 
Mother: Well next time remember where you put things !

Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour ? 
Pupil: Because it can't sit down !

Teacher: Is Lapland heavily populated ? 
Class: No, there are not many Lapps to the mile !

Name an animal that lives in Lapland ? 
A reindeer 
Good, now name another 
Another reindeer !


Can you tell me where elephants are found ? 
We don't have to find elephants, they're so big, they don't get lost !

What fur do we get from a tiger ? 
As fur as possible !

I got a 35 in maths and 25 in english, but I knocked them cold in geography 
I got zero !

What birds are found in Portugal ? 
Portu-geese !

Name three famous poles ? 
North, south and tad !

What do we do with crude oil ? 
Teach it some manners !

What is an island ? 
A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side. 
On one side ? 
Yes, on top !

Teacher: Give me three reasons why the world is round 
Pupil: Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !

What shape is the world in? Rotten !

Why does you geography exam have a big zero over it. 
It's not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead !