Political Correctness for Teens

submitted by Mr. Ray Stewart
- No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired." 
- You don't have detention, you're just one of the"exit delayed." 
- Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." 
- These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined." 
- Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive." 
- Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."
- Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience." 
- You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness." 
- You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time." 
- You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome." 
- You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear." 
- No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced." 
- You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective." 
- You don't talk a lot.. You're just "abundantly verbal." 
- You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations." 
- You're not being sent to the principals office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building." 
- It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information." 
- The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."