Welcome to Jokes for Teachers

Short Teacher Jokes (Submitted by Mark L)

Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing? 
Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening!

Teacher: Why were you late? 
Student: Sorry, teacher, I overslept. 
Teacher: You mean you need to sleep at home too!

Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth! 
Pupil: What ?, and get bitten!

Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning. 
Class: Hooray 
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!

Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it? 
Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?

Son: I can't go to school today. 
Father: Why not? 
Son: I don't feel well 
Teacher: Where don't you feel well? 
Son: In school!

Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you? 
Pupil: Not very much!

Father: I hear you skipped school to play football 
Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!

Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. 
School Secretary: Who is this? 
Pupil: This is my father speaking!

Father: How do you like going to school? 
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!